Too Hot to Erase!
by fearlessly
Summary: Inspired by Santana telling Quinn that her sexts are "too hot to erase" in the episode Hairography (s01e11). Written in text format.


**[From Santana:]**

 **I've gots a bad case of the hormones.**

[From Puck:]

I got a cure

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Wanky!**

[From Puck:]

Oh yeah? Let's hook it up tonite

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Sounds like a plan. But aren't you with Tubbers? I can't believe she actually asked you to babysit. That's so 90s!**

[From Puck:]

I'll cum over when I'm done. Til then, tell me bout ur panties

 **[From Santana:]**

 **I'm not wearing any.**

[From Puck:]

U'r smokin n when I get there it's gonna get hotter. U know the Puckasaurus never disappoints

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Do you think I'm TOO hot?**

[From Puck:]

U fuckin know it! U don't even know how many times I've hid under the bleachers n watched Cheerios practis

 **[From Santana:]**

 **You better be watching only me and not those other bitches. Except for Britt-Britt. She's not a bitch.**

[From Puck:]

Speeking of, where's that 3some u promised me? U n Britt wud b sizzling hot all over the Puckster

 **[From Santana:]**

 **I'm not sure your bod could handle the both of us. Just keep your eyes forward for now, Puckerman.**

[From Puck:]

Yes ma'am

 **[From Santana:]**

 **So are you done babysitting yet? I needs to get my mack on.**

[From Puck:]

No. I'm a little tied up rite now. These kids r hellions

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Well what's Tubbers doing? Can't she handle kids? She's had enough practice with dating Frankenteen and all.**

[From Puck:]

She's tied up 2. We're actually tied up. And Q is bitchin at me

 **[From Santana:]**

 **You're boring me. Maybe I should go convince Britts that it's time for lady-kisses.**

[From Puck:]

Lady kisses my ass! My dick is worth the wait. I know u wanna blow me

 **[From Santana:]**

 **…**

[From Puck:]

Baby?

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Convince me I shouldn't turn off my phone.**

[From Puck:]

Tell me more bout u goin commando under that short skirt

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Who says I'm wearing a skirt?**

[From Puck:]

C'mon every1 knows the Cheerios wear uniforms 24/7

 **[From Santana:]**

 **I can't be held accountable for the fact that I'm a hot Latina.**

[From Puck:]

Not as hot as a hot Jew, but a hot Latina cums a close 2nd

 **[From Santana:]**

 **You know I'm the hottest bitch, not only at McKinley, or in Lima Heights Adjacent, but in ALL of Ohio.**

[From Puck:]

So take off the skirt then.

 **[From Santana:]**

 **I'm one step ahead of you, Puckerman.**

[From Puck:]

Hmm send proof

 **[From Santana:]**

 **In your dreams. When I release images of my hot bod it will be in sex tape format.**

[From Puck:]

That's hot

 **[From Santana:]**

 **And it hasn't even been made yet.**

[From Puck:]

I can help with that. I'll steal Artie's cameras n we can get our grind on

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Get in line, Puck. You're not the only one who wants to get with this.**

[From Puck:]

Maybee not but I'm the only 1 who can get the job done. All these Lima losers don't know how to pleaz a woman like the Puckster does

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Well, there's no denying your hawk turns me on.**

[From Puck:]

The ladies can't resist it, I know. Imagine the hawk right there with u baby. Between those long dark Latina legs

 **[From Santana:]**

 **AND, he's back! Now you're talking. It took you long enough.**

[From Puck:]

Fuck off! I'm dealin with Schuester's 3 hellion nefews n worse, Q is pretendin to be Madonna circa Papa Don't Preach

 **[From Santana:]**

 **What even is that? You've killed my buzz, Puckerman. It's time I take matters into my own hands.**

[From Puck:]

Just wait 4 me. Q gets tired easily now. Once she n the hellions r sleepin I'll cum over

 **[From Santana:]**

 **…**

[From Puck:]

Sound like a plan?

[From Puck:]

San?

[From Puck:]

Baby u better not b slippin n slidin without Puckzilla

[From Puck:]

Shit, girl!

 **[From Santana:]**

 **I started and ended without you, Puckerman. But if you're good I'll let you take me out for a burger.**

[From Puck:]

And round 2?

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Ever since Britt started buying raw meat to feed to Lord Tubbington, ground beef makes me horny so it's a possibility.**

[From Puck:]

Righteous. Meet u at Kewpee

 **[From Santana:]**

 **Wanky!**


End file.
